Happy Father’s Day! 

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers.  Honor them! My father, Orvin Nesje, passed away almost 10 years ago (December 2015) after several years of illness.  He chose to stop his dialysis after several months of me begging him not to stop his treatment.  He was tired, sick and ready.  Once he made the decision, he seemed to be at peace.  This post is not about his illness or decisions.  It’s about fathers.  The photo above shows my dad when he was in the happiest part of his life.  I’m the baby in the bottom right and those are my 3 sisters.  The beach was his happy place and mine too.  My father married my mother who had 3 little girls, who he took on as his own.  As with any family, there were good and bad times, ups and downs, disagreements, divorce and illness.  All of that aside, he was a good father who loved all of us!

When he decided to stop dialysis, he was specific in his wishes.  He wanted to donate his body to the University of Georgia and then after studying it, he would be cremated and told me where he wanted his ashes spread.  He died not knowing that his body couldn’t be donated due to his leg amputation, illnesses and the overall shape it was in.  He was cremated as he wanted and I kept his ashes for 3 years after his death.  I couldn’t part with them because that would make it all too final.

My husband, Andy, (another wonderful father!) came to me a couple of weeks before Father’s Day 3 years after my father passed away.  He said that he had an idea:  “Let’s spread your dad’s ashes this father’s Day – Jennifer, it’s time.”  I immediately said that I wasn’t ready, I didn’t think I could do it.  He told me to think about it.  My husband would give up celebrating himself on Father’s Day in order to honor my father, his father-in-law!

I was telling this idea to a dear friend, (who is also a wonderful father!) and saying that I wasn’t ready.  When I was telling him about it, he stopped my conversation.

“Your father told you his wishes – where he wanted his ashes scattered?”

“Yes, he did.”

 “Jennifer, this is not about you! You have to honor his wishes and what better way to honor your father on Father’s Day! ” 

That stung a little but I knew he was right.  He is a friend who will tell me like it is whether it’s good, bad or ugly.  I realized that I was being selfish and needed to follow through.  Life Lesson learned!

My husband was exactly right and he asked our daughter’s to join us on that early Sunday morning to honor my father.  Andy had prepared a “send-off” speech which he read as we stood about to scatter his ashes.  It couldn’t have been a better tribute – very private but deeply moving!

I’m so thankful my husband with the help of my friend pushed me to do it and to stop being selfish!  Each Father’s Day, I celebrate my father, my step father, my husband, my father-in-law (who has also passed away), my friend and all the father’s with honor!

Happy Father’s Day! 

YES, Andy, you were right!  Write it down!  Haha!  

Comment below!  Tell me about your father!